Rest In Peace Danny

I was originally going to write a post about my UPS experience at work today and another post about driving etiquette.  Both might have been on the comical (both sarcastic and angry) side but when I got home and logged onto my computer, I turned to FB first to see what's the latest and greatest.  I was expecting the usual happy hump day, yadda, yadda, yadda.  What I didn't expect to read was "My loving cousin Danny just pass away. I want him BACK!!!!..."  My heart sank.  One of the things I've never been able to accept or handle well is death.  Up until several years ago, I've never lost anyone.  The first person I lost that was directly tied to me was my friend Churchill, when he was only 25.  That was by far the most difficult loss I've had to deal with.  It definitely does not get any easier coping.  I've known Danny for 17 years now and when we first started working together, he was always so kind to me. He always helped me out and treated me well even when others stabbed me in the back.  We've lost touch over the years and especially so when I left the company.  I only have fond memories of him. I don't think I ever thought he'd pass.  My heart was heavy since yesterday when I found out he had a stroke.  I really thought he'd get through it, some people do. 

I really don't know how to deal.  I can feel myself shutting down but my surrounds keep me here.  People talking to me, thing that need to be done. I can't just walk away and cry the way I need to. I know he's in a better place now. I know God just wanted him back. Good people always pass on early.  I was telling my co-worker this the other day - that the reason good people die early is because their work here is done.  Earth is pergatory and they've done all they needed to do here so they get to back to paradise. Meanwhile mean and evil people get to stay here longer and suffer.  I told my co-worker I guess I'll be here for a very long time. Ha.  Then that same day I read an article that cheerful people die sooner.  WTF?!?!  Seriously?!?!  Then I told my co-worker I'd definitely live forever if I continued to work there.  Heh.  We laugh about these things.  It's what keeps us sane at work. I guess misery does love company but it's not that I want to drag her down, I just want to make sure she can still laugh even when she feels like she's become one with the ground.  It's more of a coping methology.

Maybe this is God's way of reminding me that I need to laugh more, cherish more, worry less and love a lot. I hear you God. I'm working on it...

Job = Relationship ?

Feeling defeated

I think finding a company to work for is like finding a significant other. You start out looking for "The One" and eventually, over time, after many lay offs and going from company to company, you just settle for "The One Now"...except I feel like I'm in that phase of life where I don't just want "The One Now". I'm tired of looking and I just want to belong to something. I want to settle down with a good company and work out my days til retirement. *sigh* Unfortunately, just like a relationship, there are ups and downs.  There are people who support and nourish your relationship and then there are those filthy scumbags who try to tear you apart. Naturally the relationship can and will flourish if both parties realize what they want and what they value and will do whatever it takes to keep the other person around. Likewise, if you don't appreciate the other person, chances are they won't stick around for long.  Unfortunately for me, it seems ass kissers make their way up the ladder much more quickly.  Why is it so hard to find a job that appreciates people and their hard work instead of ass kissers?!??!  Ugh. Am I surprised?  Not at all.  I do work in corporate america afterall. It's just that I still have that glimmer of hope that I'll find my company in shinning armor. The one place that values hard work and good work ethics. The kind of place that can see through all the bs. The company where people can't and won't take someone's work and pass it off as their own.  You know, the type of environment where everyone helps each other out instead of backstabbing them. Man, maybe I'm just in the wrong industry. Afterall, it's unlikely that you will find a chef at a construction site right?

Alright, I better stop here before I end up getting myself into trouble.  I'll leave this on a funny note since I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and look for the good amist all the bad.  I once read somewhere that ending a relationship should be like quitting a job.  You have to give two weeks notice and find a replacement before you leave.  Ha! 

Always remember,
Kimmunication is Key!

It's so easy even a monkey can do it

Heavy Heart

I just finished watching Michael Moor's Capitalism: A True Love Story and my heart is heavy.  Although I must admit that after every single one of his documentaries, my heart is left unbelieveably heavy.  It's not necessarily a bad thing.  At the same time it inspires me to do something better for human kind, if that's even possible from little ole me.  This documentary was a refresher for me, a reminder of the greed that exists out there.  The idea that there are people out there who can care less for another human being for the sake of money disgusts me.  I often dream of what life would be like if everyone cared about everyone else.  If there wasn't any greedy assholes who took advantage of other people, if people did things to make other people happy...would we be better off?  Or would we get tired of it and eventually become what we are now?

I once saw an episode/movie of Star Trek where they said that the human race had everything they wanted and there was no longer any need.  Since Earth was in such a great state, they were able to go out to space and explore other galaxies and study other species.  What an idea.  Imagine if there was no longer hunger in the world, no longer any greed or crime.  Imagine if you had everything you wanted.  You would move on to help other people.  If you were in a position where you no longer needed anything from anyone else, what would you do?  Would you go on to help others?  Would you reinvest what was initially invested in you?

It angers me when I think about how the government, our government has raped us over and over again and we can't do anything about it.  They call it taxes but it's extortion.  It's the tax payer's money but we have no say in how it's spent.  They keep taking and taking from the working class people and we keep scaling back.  I'm sure they know that the most dangerous person is the one who has nothing to lose.  They're just trying to find that line where they can take as much as they can without someone feeling like they have nothing else to lose.  Desperate people go to desperate measures.  I don't believe there is a good government.  I don't believe that any of these politicians have the people's best interest in mind.  Voting at elections have gone from voting for the best person to voting for the lesser of the two evils.