Rest In Peace Danny

I was originally going to write a post about my UPS experience at work today and another post about driving etiquette.  Both might have been on the comical (both sarcastic and angry) side but when I got home and logged onto my computer, I turned to FB first to see what's the latest and greatest.  I was expecting the usual happy hump day, yadda, yadda, yadda.  What I didn't expect to read was "My loving cousin Danny just pass away. I want him BACK!!!!..."  My heart sank.  One of the things I've never been able to accept or handle well is death.  Up until several years ago, I've never lost anyone.  The first person I lost that was directly tied to me was my friend Churchill, when he was only 25.  That was by far the most difficult loss I've had to deal with.  It definitely does not get any easier coping.  I've known Danny for 17 years now and when we first started working together, he was always so kind to me. He always helped me out and treated me well even when others stabbed me in the back.  We've lost touch over the years and especially so when I left the company.  I only have fond memories of him. I don't think I ever thought he'd pass.  My heart was heavy since yesterday when I found out he had a stroke.  I really thought he'd get through it, some people do. 

I really don't know how to deal.  I can feel myself shutting down but my surrounds keep me here.  People talking to me, thing that need to be done. I can't just walk away and cry the way I need to. I know he's in a better place now. I know God just wanted him back. Good people always pass on early.  I was telling my co-worker this the other day - that the reason good people die early is because their work here is done.  Earth is pergatory and they've done all they needed to do here so they get to back to paradise. Meanwhile mean and evil people get to stay here longer and suffer.  I told my co-worker I guess I'll be here for a very long time. Ha.  Then that same day I read an article that cheerful people die sooner.  WTF?!?!  Seriously?!?!  Then I told my co-worker I'd definitely live forever if I continued to work there.  Heh.  We laugh about these things.  It's what keeps us sane at work. I guess misery does love company but it's not that I want to drag her down, I just want to make sure she can still laugh even when she feels like she's become one with the ground.  It's more of a coping methology.

Maybe this is God's way of reminding me that I need to laugh more, cherish more, worry less and love a lot. I hear you God. I'm working on it...